But somehow I'm still alive inside. You took my breath, but I survived.

ok.
to whoever that's asking for my tumblr, i won't reveal it cause if i were to make a move, i want it to be like a total clean-break sorta move ('cause i don't want certain people to keep a tab on my "new" life).
but i have yet to decide whether i should, cause i've been using this blog since forever already.
howrever hor, i sorta prefer the interface of tumblr, but it's depressing to know i only have 1 (ONE) follower (thanks, Lynna, i love you).

so, to change or not to change?

suddenly, at the end of this post, i feel like i should just go ahead and make the change.
since i'm making major, drastic (chainsaw-effecting) changes to my life already.
might as well start anew in this aspect, right?

k, settle ah.

slamat ah korang! wansuay ah! pape picit ah.

i seriously cannot wait for Saturday.
i have a strong feeling it's gonna be an awesome, awesome date.

LIFE HAS BEEN LIBERATINGLY GREAT.
i feel so much happier, more myself.
not having to worry about what the other person feels.
and it's great having friends who are supportive.
i've either been smiling to myself when reading an SMS, or laughing my ass off when i meet friends.

i'm not sure whether to stick to this blog, or just continue with my tumblr.

it sure gets psychologically lonely.
i mean the effects are immediate.
it's like that character switch just turned off the moment the decision is made.
for those who have their guesses on my current situation, please withold your thoughts and queries until i am fine enough to answer them.

meanwhile, where do i even start?
ok..

so, ive been having the same song on repeat for like what? 4 days already?
still listening to it.
i usually put a song on repeat for this long if it's like fucken' addictive.
but this time i think it's been on 'cause it's heartfelt.
FTW!! i'm fucken' sappy and emo-shit right now.
i need Ben & J, a nice scenery with good company right now. BADLY.

there's just nothing to look forward to anymore now that he's CTRL + X-ed out of my life.
no school, no events, no work, no parties, no outings.

sharifah sad :(

P.S. honestly, part of me is still wishing that all this is just a terrible nightmare.

"daripada aku kasi kau harapan."

so i think i should LET GO.
and stop hoping.

i read the first 3 months of my blog archive.
and i swear, i choked and almost started crying.
i mentioned you on almost every post.
oh, the adoration.

it was much easier and simpler back then, wasn't it?
i said this 3 years back, and i wanna say it again:

"my other half managed to knock some sense into the other half.
and together, this two halves make one half of a whole entity.
this said one half apologised to the other half.
don't know whether the other half accepts it or not.
maybe i should sing him a song.
it's been a long time since i sang to him (without him falling asleep)."

- January 30, 2007

or, maybe, i should just forget about the whole thing and move on.

I came back here, thinking it's time to go back to what I usually do over the years because I'm in the face of change and I'm finding my constant.
Now that I'm here, I don't know what to write about.
I mean I do know what I WANT to write, but I don't think I should.

to go away.
tuesday too.
and wednesday.
and thursday.
for friday, only till 5:30pm.

i want friday 5:31pm onwards.

- wants Monday.