ok.
so.
everything.
well, ALMOST everything is changing.
all happening too fast.
can't absorb much of the change.
i got a job.
school is flying pass so fast, i don't know what hit me.
and i'm relapsing again.

i'm so concerned with the past.
to be honest, it isn't even my past.
i'm done with mine.
i'm just not exactly comfortable with someone else's.
what can i do?
i don't know.
i just lose it at times.
paranoia or as what my brother describes it as "latent insecurities".
well, i don't exactly know my disposition.
what i know is that it isn't pleasant.

so, my mother knows everything.
his mother too.
enough of the "you guys are young and still have a long way to go".
whatever it is, it takes maturity to be in a relationship,
not the number of years you have lived.

for once, i feel like i'd rather be a wallflower.
'cause i'm too tired to be part of the activities.
i'll keep it low till school's over,
or when i'm done adjusting,
or even if i don't adjust, at least consume the facts.

Question: How does it feel to know that the very one you have, is the very one people are willing to compete with you for?