i am immovable.
i've been here for so long.
i am, somehow, still here.
and i feel, i can't move anywhere.

it's one of those moments where you know whatever that's happening,
and those that have happened,
is just isn't good for you.
you know very well it brings you harm.

it's one of those moment where the ideals of your brain and heart clash.
the clash between logic and faith.
and you can't seem to decide.
whether you should protect yourself and leave?
or,
take the chance, and hope that the decision you made to stay is for the better, and have faith?

as i said before, it's either a yes or no.
and staying in the grey doesn't do any good.

so here you are, stagnant.
undecided on where to go.
yes, it does 'cause hurt and grief.
because you chose to stay put, in harm's way.
in the face of the fire which is burning yourself.

on the contrary, staying stagnant puts you in a position where
standing infront of the fire, keeps you warm.
for you know, that the moment you turn and walk away,
you'd start to shiver.
and the path ahead gets darker and darker without the illumination of the fire.
the very same fire that's burning you.

so where do you go? what would you do?
you can't turn left or right, because that means pretending.
pretending nothing has ever happened.
then these two directions would be irrelevant.

so here i am, stagnant.

i am immovable.
i've been here for so long.
i am, somehow, still here.
and i feel, i can't move anywhere.