why won't human kind ever learn to just love?

it's said that without hate, there won't be love.
why is it that, love turns to hate, and hate turns to love?
the peculiar thing is that, it seems irreversible.

you depended on someone who nurtured you.
you feel love and appreciation for that person.
but as you grow, you take things for granted.
not appreciating that person anymore, you somehow stop loving.
suddenly, you feel a sense of hatred.

hatred, perhaps, is too strong a word.

you dislike someone totally.
to the point you criticise his every move and behaviour.
but as you grow, you become more mature and start realising more of what that person can offer.
you start to feel acquainted with the person, you somehow admire his every move and behaviour.
suddenly, you feel a sense of belonging.

sense of belonging, perhaps, is too vague a term.

i've come to realise that love, in a way, equals to hate.
it is an energy, for sure.
it drives you to make your next move.

love is like potential energy just waiting to be kinetic in the form of hate.

potential energy because you want things to stay the way it is, yet your feelings of love keep growing and building.

kinetic because when you start hating, either of you has to move. it's either you drive them away, or you step back.

it sounds too logical to be practical.
i know.

the more you love, the higher the tendency to hate.
you could call it an equilibrium.
study it and apply carefully.
or you can choose to call it experience.

you'd be stuck in a dilemma then.
forgo the opportunity to love to the best of your ability, and be safe.
or take that opportunity, knowing you're gonna fall harder the higher you go.

after reading this entry again, it seems silly. somehow.
because no matter how hard you analyse love, it manages to get you every time.

this is my 100th entry - the ineffective anatomy of love.


Happy Bissextile Day.