somehow, i'm unfazed.
Hafiza was right; "soon, you'll just get so tired of trying".
it's not that i'm unwilling.
i'm already unable to.

some people just don't understand the concept of "promise".
these are the very same people who don't take you seriously.
and it's these people who don't deserve to be in your "priority" list.
why treat such people with great privilege when they don't appreciate or respect you?

on a lighter note,
i've become more forward-looking, in current-near future terms.
always thinking "what next?"
i haven't exactly gone all carpe diem,
but i've seized an opportunity or two to challenge and prove myself to others that i'm not a softie, a slacker or a blonde.
(yes, Hafiza. i still have some kick and guts left in me.)

i guess working has dull-ified me.
but we all have to grow up someday.
i may not exactly be the gerek-est person to go out with now*
but i'm still pretty much the same person inside, only tamed.
don't complain, you're gonna reach that stage sooner than you think.

so music's been my latest distraction.
nothing new there.
have a pending jamming session with Lynna.
TBC.

can't wait to graduate, somehow.
expand my horizons.
beginning to re-consider those overseas work-and-play schemes Tiara was telling me about.
that'll depend on my responsibilities and financial status in the near future.

god knows what i wanna be when i grow up.
i have a practical yet seemingly impossible ambition.
i also have an impractical and seemingly impossible ambition.
also an impractical and seemingly possible ambition.
but i don't have one which is both practical and possible.
not even the seemingly-est of possibility.

i'm seriously confused at the wrong crossroad in my life.
i've been telling this to people who ask me what i wanna do in life;
"wherever the wind takes me".

*hint to some who base outings on the fun-level of an activity rather than the good quality of company.